Tuesday 25 May 2010

wrong sort of day

Sometimes everything you touch, think or do works out just as it should do. The people you see say the things you needed to hear. Then there are other days when nothing specifically goes wrong but it is all just out of kilter. It doesn't quite fit. You need a panacea for mind and heart but what you get is mild irritation in both. I have had a day like that. It has been like looking through binoculars the wrong way round. Everything can be seen but can't be touched.

I am very conscious of my lack of identity at the moment. I am drifting (hence the picture of driftwood- which I love). Are you supposed to go looking for who you are or just accept whatever happens? I know I have different faces that I put on in certain places. As do we all. But when you have a multitude of faces how do you know which is the real one? It is the same with writing - you need to understand the multitude of faces your characters have and consequently how they would react in certain situations.

I had a good PhD meeting (one of the few good moments in the day) but having spent years being told to remove my imagery as I go over the top I have now gone the otherway and my writing is lacking. I don't look at the big picture just at the micronarrative. Maybe I just need to open my eyes more. Which face shall I wear to do that then? What do you think?

Tomorrow is another day, perhaps I will get the binoculars the right way round ;-)

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