Saturday, 5 June 2010

Grey hairs, wrinkles and memories = this writer and her PhD

 I met up with a friend of mine who has known me for 12 years or so. This means she knew the old me as well as the new one. I haven't asked which is better in case I don't like the answer. There were tears because we are both going through some fairly life changing situations. Mine you know about if you read this blog and hers is the failure of her marriage after 20+ years. Not only were there tears but we managed to get a considerable amount of laughter out of both situations too.

But this set me thinking. It is 20 years next Friday that I became single again and was left with three children under the age 5, the youngest was just 1. It was the World Cup then too. I think England and Germany were playing on the television in the corner as my secure life fell to pieces. It is strange what you remember. At the time several people said 'Don't worry you won't be on your own for long, there will be someone round the corner.' Well folks, all I can say is it is bloody long corner. Don't get me wrong there were men I fell in love with, they never knew and I was never quite good enough for them to fall in love with me. Maybe I was too choosy.

In that 20 years I have started a business and lost it. Become disabled and found a way to keep myself very happy - writing and academe. Would I change any of this. Nope not one bit (except maybe it would have been nice if one of them had loved me back lol). All the pain and stress and laughter and happy times (of which are in the majority) have etched their mark on my face and in my hair. Each wrinkle and grey hair was hard earned. I am proud of each one because of the experience they represent makes me the writer I am. It is also my experiences probably in the second half of the 20 that formed my PhD.

What would have happened or who would I be if that night 20 years ago hadn't happened. A very unhappy woman. This friend that I was with this afternoon is beginning also to see how good her life is going to be now the shock is subsiding. She is aware now that she is no longer under the pressure she was. This doesn't mean it is going to be easy but at least she feels she has a future now.

Just so you know I am proud of ever grey hair and wrinkle (just don't make me look at them!) and I am now going to write either this paper that is hanging over me or if I am feeling really bad I might do some PhD writing ;-)

Just remember you only have one life, enjoy it, wrinkles and all

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