Writing Through - the power of reading and writing

Damian Barr

 This post has been inspired by the Radio 4 #GuideBooks with Damian Barr particularly the programme on bodies. It made me think about the books that have helped me but more importantly in this instance how much writing has saved me.

My entire life can be described in one sentence... "well, that didn't go as planned." This has been an echo throughout my life. Just when I think everything is falling into place, I can almost guarantee that something will come along and turn my world upside down. It hasn't just happened once. The one theme throughout is that in one shape or form I will write my way through it. It is one of my coping mechanisms as is reading. The writing allows me to explore the emotions involved and soothe a fractured mind.

The back page of my 
first book!

 From a small child, I have found solace in writing and reading. This photo is of the book of powems [sic] I wrote for my number 2 sister (yes, we are sometimes known by our numbers because there a few of us) when I was five maybe six and she was leaving home to go and study to be a nurse. I was going to miss her terribly and I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t forget me. The answer in my mind even then…write her a book then you will always be with her.

Whenever things got difficult throughout my teenage years. I would lose myself in books or I'd write the predictable heartfelt and fraught poems and, in my case and perhaps randomly, articles. I believe I even considered entering the Vogue young writers' competition. I can't remember whether I actually did, but I know I certainly thought about it and was convinced I would win. Having said that, I was convinced I would win the pony in the WH Smith competition every year (you'd never get away with that now!). I never did! I do also remember a time when in the second year (year 8) my English teacher read out a piece of my descriptive writing to the class. Having finished it, she looked across to me and said, 'You know Vanessa, you really can write. That was beautiful. Maybe you will be a writer one day.' There was a lot of smirking in the class as I was bullied mercilessly at the school, but for that moment I glowed. I can't for the life of me remember the name of that teacher as I have blocked a lot of memories of that school for obvious reasons. I can see her face though. I doubt she is still alive, but I wish I could tell her that I did make it eventually. Writing was a big part of my teenage years as was reading

One of my early notebooks

In my twenties, I found myself as a single parent with three very small children. At the time my way to deal with it was to read voraciously everything and anything but an awful of Joanna Trollope in the evenings when I was on my own. For childcare reasons I couldn’t go out and get a job so I set up my own business. A lot of what I did was based on writing. I wrote press releases, property features for the local paper, newsletter for the local charity, software training manuals. You name it I wrote. I quietly wrote in the evenings dabbling with fiction and poetry that no one ever saw which helped me deal with my emotions. It was the continuation of a habit. If I’m stressed or struggling I write. Never really taking the fiction seriously at that time.

Giving myself a feed

Just when things were beginning to go ok and were falling into place, I had some surgery to stop the serious reflux I suffered from. Unfortunately, my body reacted badly to it. I came around unable to swallow food and only able to take sips of fluids. There were all sorts of other implications that I am not going to include here because you really don't need to know them, but it all turned my life upside down. I was too ill to work. I became disabled. My children were my carers. I would cook for them absolutely starving and crying with hunger. It was a nightmare as it took a year for them to decide to put a PEG tube into my stomach through which I could take special feeds. It was such a difficult time because eating forms such a central part of our lives, our social life, everything really. Think of how many food-based programmes there are on television. Not being able to eat and work, I lost my sense of identity. I had no idea who I was. Yet again in my life, I had to reinvent myself. Work out who this newly disabled person was and how they fitted into this world. Once more I turned to writing. I wrote my way through it. . I have notebooks full of my witterings in. They will never be shared. All too personal and raw.

The PEG however allowed me to start a new life. To become a new person. I decided to make use of the writing that I’ve always played with. I signed up to the University of Winchester to do a degree in English because at that time the degree had modules in Creative Writing (there was no single honours degree in Creative Writing at that stage). Little did I know I was about to change my life completely. I had a chance to try on lots of different voices that included writing for children. Something I’d never thought about before and the rest, as they say, is history…I took an MA in Writing for Children, a PhD, became a lecturer and my debut novel Flight was published in 2018 by Firefly in the UK and by Feiwell and Friends in the US in 2021. Firefly will be publishing the sequel, Safe, in 2022. Writing my way through has helped me in so many ways.

I still do it, when I ended up on crutches because of joint issues, for example. Or when I cut back my hours in order to focus on my writing and build up my school visits just as the pandemic hit - perfect timing Vanessa! I will always write my way through stress and fear. I know if I don't write it has an impact on my mental health. I have learnt that now. I have an understanding.

Me, my crutches, and my crazy family at the launch of Flight.
I do my best not to let disability define me or stop me

Writing can be therapeutic, as can reading be. I have recently read an article about how reading to children in ICU can increase their production of oxytocin, which has an impact on their pain and can reduce it. It also reduces their stress levels. The writers of the article saw parents as a cost-effective intervention as they could read the stories to their own children. I am also a great believer that a book will find you just at the time you need it. It may be a little cliched, but Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist appeared in my life at a time when I needed it. The same with Matt Haig's Reasons to Stay Alive, which arrived at a moment when both myself and various people close to me were having issues with mental health. Yes, I know, the pragmatic part of my brain says, it is because you notice the write-ups of certain books when you need them. The romantic part does say they find you. Believe whatever you want to believe. The choice is yours. Writing and reading are so powerful. They will always be my salvation.

Lockdown thoughts and a tribute to a lost friend

Today’s blog post is not a #writingishard post. Instead, I decided to write one from the heart. It is something I felt I needed to say. To say it is strange times is an understatement, isn’t it. We are living through history. In years to come people will ‘What was it like during Covid-19?’ and we will say we were there. People will write about this period in time. I find that concept quite surreal.

I know talking to friends that we are all going through similar emotions. A lot of the time we feel we are coping. Getting on with life doing a variety of things but then suddenly for no reason, we become

NANNY!

emotional and tearful. As I was talking to a friend on FB (Social media has never become so important as it is now) I think it is vital to acknowledge these moments of feeling overwhelmed. You shouldn’t be feeling ashamed of them. We are all feeling like it at times. My way of coping them is to do something mindless like colouring in a picture, doing some drawing (I’m a really bad artist but I know no one will ever see them), or dance crazily to my favourite music – it is the old adage, dance as if no one is watching – that is me. I live alone but I am lucky, and I know it, I have family very close, and I am mean very close. I was working yesterday and in the middle of a workshop, I heard this ‘NANNY’ being shouted. I opened my door and there was my youngest grandson at his fence wanting me to catch bubbles with him. There is a house between us, but Emily didn’t mind bubbles flying across her garden. I sneaked out for a couple of minutes to do just that. It makes all the difference for my sanity.

Family quiz

Checking in on people is vital at the moment. A quick message on text, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp or Messenger, whatever is your favourite method can make all the difference. It can bring a smile or even a giggle. My social life has taken a real upturn. We even have a family quiz night now. I went to the virtual village pub via Zoon last Friday night and have caught up with friends and siblings too. It can make a huge difference when you live alone just to hear someone’s voice. But the things I miss the most is a hug. Is human contact. Is my grandchildren wrapping their arms around me. Is holding my brand-new granddaughter and watching her newly learnt smile. The bear hugs from my sons and the all-enveloping hug from my daughter. The ache for those is physical. It really hurts. Those are the things I am going to do first when this lockdown is over.

During this time my colleagues and I have had to deal at a distance with the loss of a great friend. We

RIP Prof Neil McCaw

haven’t been able to come together to share our grief. Prof Neil McCaw was a larger than life character. He wore the best shirts. He so kind, but never suffered fools gladly. I have sat opposite him in meetings and he’d give me a look, just slightly raising an eyebrow, with a slight twitch of a grin. I’d know that I’d get an email later with his ‘thoughts’ on the meeting. His emails were the best. I’d quite often get an email from him because he’d found something that he knew would interest me because that’s what he was like. We’d talk about tv programmes, theory of creativity, life, dealing with illness and dogs. I knew if I had a worry, I could ask him, and he would give me an honest answer. It wasn’t always necessarily the answer I wanted to hear, but I knew it was always the best answer. Neil was a great support. He always had my back. He mentored me in my career and celebrated my successes. He was a truly gentle man and a gentleman, so kind and generous of heart. He knew so much and was so interesting to talk to. Passionate about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and George Eliot. You could have a fascinating and challenging conversation with him.

He started, with Andy Melrose, the Creative Writing Undergraduate Programme at Winchester. He always strove to make it the best it could possibly be. His leadership was such that we all wanted the same. He showed us how to be the best academic you could be. It made you push to ensure your teaching was at the top of your game. Neil achieved his aim too. The programme was number one in the country and renowned for what it offered. We were proud to be part of it and what he was creating.

My heart goes out to all my colleagues and to his family. Neil, go shine brightly for us.

This seems appropriate a bit of Paul Buchanan

This is what we do - enable, inspire, care.

Feeling inspired

I have had one of those weeks that reminds me why I do what I do but also reminded me of the importance of these moments to any writer or creative person.

It started last Saturday when I did an Open Day at the University of Winchester. I had a room full of aspiring students, eager to study Creative Writing. I watched their faces as I spoke, their smiles got wider and wider. They were buzzing by the end. Some of their parents, however, looked a little glum as they came in. They are usually the ones who cannot see the point of CW degree. I watched though as they also started to smile, their shoulders dropped and they began to relax as they realised what their darling child might be able to do with their degree. Mission achieved.

Then during the week, I was listening to my third-year students talking about their creative pieces in my metafiction module. They literally blew my mind as they came up with all these incredible projects. They really did think 'outside the box'. I watched their faces as well at the end of the session as I spoke to them enmasse about their projects, they were glowing. It is so satisfying to be able to facilitate this sort of creativity.

On Thursday I met up with the wonderful Imogen Cooper and many of the other editors from the Golden Egg Academy. We spent a joyous few hours discussing writing, editing, the industry and books we love. I left totally inspired and reminded once again how joyous it is to work with so many amazing and knowledgeable people. I always learn so much just by listening and talking to them. Earlier in the week, I had spoken to one of my Eggs that I am mentoring and I am seeing another one later today for an editorial surgery. Talking about their work and sharing ideas is so satisfying. Seeing that light bulb moment as they suddenly have an idea of what they might be able to do next or they really get what you are saying. It is a moment that always sends a thrill down my spine.

All this has an impact on my own creativity and writing. I know I am lucky in the jobs I do, I am surrounded by creative and inspirational people. As writers we need this and I am aware that not everyone is as fortunate as me. This is where it is important for writers to become part of communities. I know at The Golden Egg Academy we have a fantastic writers' community that is incredibly supportive. Another great source of support and community is the Society of Children's Book Writers & Illustrators. It is in fact their conference this weekend. Watch on Facebook and on Twitter - follow #scbwicon17 to find out what they are up to. Critique groups are fabulous for support too - I have been part of a SCBWI one for many years. Having people around you - either virtually or IRL - that you can talk about your writing, books you are reading and your moments of inspiration is priceless.

Having support like this feeds a writer's creativity. It enables them to be inspried and allows them to ride through the rough times because everyone closes rank around anyone who is having a tough time, giving virtual or real hugs. It's someone for them to lean on while filling them with words of encouragement. There was some of that this week too. A few friends were having hard times for various reasons, up against tough deadlines or getting difficult rejections. I tried to be there for them because I knew that is exactly what they would have done for me and because I wanted to protect them and make sure they were ok. And because this is what we do. We enable, we inspire and we care.

The song seemed a little obvious this time. Paul McCartney & Ringo Starr singing 'With a little help from my friends':

Dreams do come true...

Dreams do come true...

Strangely enough, it was fifteen years ago this September that I went back to university. I had been doing a bit of writing to deal with some disabling illness and I went to university to do a degree in English which I knew had some creative writing modules in because of it. Little did I know it would change my whole world.

Fast forward fifteen years. Last week I submitted an academic book based on my PhD, and this week, I am delighted to announce that Firefly Press are going to publish my middle-grade Second World War, adventure story, Flight, next summer. I am beyond excited as Firefly are the most incredible publishers with some fantastic titles and authors already on their list. I feel very privileged to be part of it.

When I met with Penny and Janet a few months back I really thought I was dreaming. I suddenly realised I was sitting in a restaurant discussing the cover of my novel...that's right MY novel. It felt surreal and as I drove back home I kept having to remind myself that this was for real and someone wasn't going to jump out and shout 'Only joking!'

Flight was the first story I had written outside of academia and it was joyous to have that freedom. I work for Golden Egg Academy supporting other writers, but I was also lucky enough to be mentored by Imogen Cooper myself. I can spot issues in other people's work but it is never that easy on your own. You need a professional to sit down with you and say: have you thought of this or why are you doing that? Her knowledge and understanding of books and empathy with authors knows no bounds.

I also don't have an agent so I did all the negotiating myself. Again I am very grateful to Imogen for her advice but also the Society of Authors, who were incredibly useful. Their advice was invaluable. I cannot recommend being a member enough.

When I started at university I hadn't even thought about being a children's writer. It was only when I had a chance to write some that I suddenly found my voice and realised that's where I felt at home. You see you have to take all the opportunities that come your way.

I am really looking forward to the next few months as Flight literally does take flight...

Somehow this seems quite appropriate: American Authors - Best Day of My Life

Guest Post by Rewan Tremethick talking about his new book Fallen on Good Times

Rewan Tremethick

I am delighted to introduce you to Rewan Tremethick who has very kindly agreed to do a guest blog post as part of his tour prior to the launch of his most recent book at the end of May. Rewan is an ex student of mine at the University of Winchester where he studied Creative Writing. I was lucky enough to supervise his final year project (dissertation).He would spend a lot of time in my office along with Sonney Stelling putting the world to writes [sics]. We had many a laugh but he was also a good student. Always listening to what I had to say, going away and working hard on his creative pieces. So It is with great joy that I hand my blog over to him. Well done Rewan and good luck

Writing my way to self discovery. And biscuits.

I learned something rather important about myself when I wrote Fallen on Good Times. Originally, I had intended it to be a nice, straightforward adventure. No subtext, no brain work, just something simple and easily consumable, like the pulp magazines of the 1920s; the period in which the book is set.

It was National Novel Writing Month: a time of year that always gets writer types excited. It's the literary challenge equivalent of running a marathon for anyone interested in using their legs. Write 50,000 words in one month, no excuses. It doesn't have to be good - the idea is just to get something out of your brain. Writers have a tendency to avoid writing, which we're allowed to do, because we're artists. If after several months, the people you had hired to build your home had only put two bricks together, because they 'hadn't felt like building', you'd be outraged. Writers, on the other hand, get away with it, hence the large kick up the backside NaNoWriMo provides being rather useful to us.

For me, writing long pieces has never been a problem. I take part in NaNoWriMo for the community. And also because it presented a nice opportunity to get working on my new project - the paranormal adventures of a private detective in 1920s America, down on his luck, looking for something better (and less deadly) to do with his life. It was an action book, and a comedy. You could laugh at it, and people got punched every now and then. All good things.

But at the end of NaNo, I looked back over it and realised it was too empty for me. I needed it to have some substance. I wasn't aiming for ideas as astounding as Decartes 'I am thinking, therefore I exist’, but I wanted the book to be something that made you do a little bit of brain work. Rather like a pile of hot coals, or a porcupine, you shouldn't be able to just hold it for several hours and then forget about it forever. It should leave a mark on you.

Considering I originally started on Fallen on Good Times because I was taking a break from the other ideas I was working on, which were much more complex and thematic, this was a bit of a problem. I had succeeded in my goal - make a straightforward book that would (hopefully) put a smile on some people's faces and give them a happy way to while away a few hours. Yet I wasn't happy with what I had produced.

Hence the moment of self-realisation. It was a very quiet epiphany, the acknowledgement that I needed to tell stories that had meaning, that said something. If they made a film of my life, they'd have to crank up the drama somewhat, perhaps by having the realisation come to me in a dream, then depicting me tearing up the pages of the manuscript, shouting at befuddled relatives 'I need something more than this!' As it was, I was alone in the living room at about 1.30 in the morning, which is when I tend to do most of my deep thinking. I was probably eating biscuits; not as dramatic though.

Perhaps that's why Mark Wilson from Paddy's Daddy Publishing, and the other people so far who have read it and enjoyed it, have liked it. It originally started out as a comic action romp. It achieves that quite well, I think. There are plenty of Discworld-esque characters and moments (my style of written humour has often been compared to that of Messers Pratchett and Adams in the past), and some nice action sequences. But what the rewrite added was a few layers of depth. It made the book resonate more, created a stronger purpose for the story, and gave the book something to say.

I never set out intending to ignore my desire to create something that had depth and subtext, I just hadn't realised when I started Fallen on Good Times just how strong that desire was. It's not a facet of my writing, it's the very reason that I do write.

I have long believed that good writing makes you feel, but great writing makes you think. If Fallen on Good Times makes people laugh, smile, and enjoy themselves, I'm happy, but if it also makes them think about their own thoughts and beliefs with regards to the issues in the novel, then I'm something more than happy. I'm fulfilled. Justified. In the film of my life, that'll probably be depicted by me running up a mountain and roaring triumphantly at the world from atop the summit.

In reality, I'll probably just have more biscuits.

Check out the trailer for the book here:

About the author:

Rewan (not pronounced ‘Rowan’) Tremethick is a British author who was named after a saint. St Ruan was invulnerable to wolves; Rewan isn’t. His paranormal detective noir, Fallen on Good Times, is being released towards the end of May. Rewan has already had two murder mystery novellas published.

When not writing, he can be found drumming, reading, and pondering. He works as a freelance copywriter, so it’s hard to find a time where he’s not writing anything. Rewan is a fan of clever plots, strong woman who don’t have to be described using words like ‘feisty’, and epic music. He has dabbled in stand-up comedy, radio presenting, and writing sentences without trying to make a joke.

He balances his desire to write something meaningful by wearing extremely tight jeans.

Click here for more information and to sign up and get chapter one for free [link: http://www.rewantremethick.com/fallen-on-good-times-novel].

Other links:

http://www.facebook.com/rewantremethickauthor

http://www.youtube.com/rewantremethick

http://www.twitter.com/rewantremethick

http://www.paddysdaddypublishing.com

I've just typed 'The End'

My most pressurised moment of 2013!
Courtesy of Ben Randall Photopgraphy

And now let us welcome the new year, full of things that have never 
been.
--Rainer Maria Rilke

How apt is it that on the last day of 2013 I typed 'The End.' It was the last words of the first draft of my new novel.  One that I started back in September.  I have done my normal of writing 'cold', so I get the bare bones of the story down (hence why it was written so fast). I am now going to print it off and leave it sitting, fermenting in the corner before I go back to it and I start painting the colour in. When I will rewrite/edit 'hot'. This is how I write. I am not saying it is the right way or the only way but after many years of trying, it is the best way for me.  I have to mull things over, allow inspiration to take me by surprise as all the details start to appear to me.  It is like a tapestry. I first of all do an outline edge to the picture, once complete and I can see how it looks I go back and fill in the light and shade.


I started this last night and now it is early on the 1st January, the first day of a brand new year. I spent the evening with family and friends, many of whom I have known for over 20 years, and had a wonderful time, where I could say farewell to the old and welcome in the new. Even better is I have no hangover as I didn't drink last night as I was driving gorgeous daughter and baby grandson (son in law was DJ-ing where we went). Happy times.

I suppose there should be a moment of reflection. In 2013 there were some amazing highs, including my daughter's wedding (see picture - that was me trying to lace up her dress, oh the concentration and pressure to get it right!), both my sons have found gorgeous girlfriends and have left home,plenty of perfect moments with Noah and the others,  I turned 50, my contract at the University of Winchester was made permanent and to my surprise I became a Senior Lecturer, I got a book contract for an academic book and, oh joy of joys, I started working with The Golden Egg Academy and Imogen Cooper and her gaggle of editors: Beverley Birch, Chrissie O'Brien, Bella Pearson and Maurice Lyon. - a specific highlight from this was being told at the launch, by Barry Cunningham of Chicken House and JK Rowling fame, that  Imogen and I were scary women! This made me laugh out loud as I am anything but. 

Anyway as with all life this was countered by some unbelievable lows, which I am not going to dwell on here. They shook me and my belief in myself to the core. It has taken a lot to come out the other side. I won't ever be the same person but am very grateful to the family and friends who stuck by me and supported me throughout. 

But what about 2014, what is that going to bring? Lots of challenges for a start. I have this book to write on writing young adult fiction, which I am busily researching at the moment. I have the aforementioned novel to edit hot, polish then get out there - there is a huge amount of pressure to get it right as when I mention the story to anyone they say 'That's amazing, can't wait to see it, it could be a film!'  Think I might stop  saying anything... I have many exciting things planned with Golden Egg  as well as  many wonderful things that I will be doing at the University too - am hoping I may have a little announcement connected with that soon too . It is a year where I need to find out who I am and reclaim the house as my own. It is a strange feeling as I am living totally on my own for the first time ever - exhilarating yet daunting at the same time.  All those labels that I have hidden behind for years have gone - no longer mother, student, daughter, wife. Who shall I be now? Maybe this year I will try and fit some travel in. There are many places I would like to go. But whatever happens I am ready for it - bring on 2014.

I hope 2014 brings you all plenty of happiness and laughter and all the strength in the world to deal with the moments that, inevitably, will not be that great - but let's also hope those moments are few and far between. Happy New Year everyone.

And I couldn't end this post without a piece of music from  my personal sound track. This is the music that my daughter walked down the aisle to with her two brothers either side, preparing to giver her away. I could never have been a prouder mother at that moment. It was a Perfect Day....oooh there's another song...but for another time. 

Sigur Ros' Hoppipolla

Getting your work out there...

This is just a brief post but I wanted to share this little film.
I am lucky as many of you know I am a lecturer in creative writing at the University of Winchester and I love my job (most of the time - just don't ask in the middle of marking hell). As part of the course we take a truly holistic approach we, obviously, focus on writing but also explore the different ways you can use writing. Part of which is getting your work out there. This can be a very daunting process. For the last few years at Winchester we have provided a stepping stone, that first opportunity to disseminate your work to the public through our own creative writing magazine for all students (not just Winchester) called Vortex. Here is our Programme Leader, and editor of said journal, Dr Neil McCaw, talking about it and the process:



Yesterday I was part of a validation event having written a new course for doctoral students. It is a huge relief that it is over and was passed but now it gives me time to think. Time to focus on my own research and writing. The sun is shining and everything seems possible. So where shall I go next?

https://soundcloud.com/lauramarlingofficial/laura-marling-where-can-i-go

Goodbye 2012....Hello 2013

A touch of madness....

It is the last day of 2012 and I have had a look back at my post for this time last year to see what I said. I had had such a momentous year in 2011 I was then feeling quite lost and wondering what 2012 could bring me to top it. Well no, it didn't top it, (I don't think anything ever will) but it was still pretty damn good.

What I could never of anticipated at the beginning of the year was that I would have a 'proper' job (or two). In September I was lucky enough to get a .5 lecturer's position at Winchester after several years of being an HPL. It is an amazing feeling and one that still, even now, doesn't feel quite real. I am still waiting for someone to wake me up and say 'Ha! Only joking...' But in the meantime I keep working hard at it and love it so much even through all the stress. I then also got the position of Skills Development Manager for all post graduate students at the uni - that is going to be very exciting and challenging as a position.

A year ago I had no idea either that I would be involved in a project with the gorgeous  Imogen Cooper - The Golden Egg Academy. Such an exciting experience and another chance to work with some incredible people. I cannot wait for the launch in January. I think GE is going to grow and grow next year beyond any of our thoughts or expectations. Bring it on. On the creative side I am still (yes I know) working on Trafficking and have also started a new story as well. I wonder what 2013 will bring for them?

I also had no idea I would have a new knee - a very shiny one according to the brochure that the very excited surgeon showed me before he inserted the contraption in my leg. It is apparently the 'best in the world'. I am sure in the long run it will be amazing but I am still battling through times of intense pain. I can't wait to be without crutches though. I did manage to ride the static bike the other day so can't wait to get it moving even more. I should add at this point that I will be eternally grateful to my children and Jen W and Nicky S who helped me get through some really dark times in the last few weeks. I owe you all.

That brings me neatly on to friends. I am lucky I have some amazing ones who have brought so much joy, laughter, writing, art and music into my life. Some are many miles away and some are very close. Friends are an important part of life and I treasure every single one of you. Thank you for being part of my life. I hope all your dreams comes true in 2013 and for many of you I know that would be a publishing contract.

There have been some low moments too of course. However, if you don't have those how could you appreciate the good. But I am not going to dwell on those. I had a chapter in a book published and I gave a couple of papers - one at Great Writing 2012 and one on technology in creative writing at a conference held at Winchester in July. Of course to start the new year I have been invited to co-write, with AM, a chapter for another book as well. What else shall I do next year? Well the aim is to get another book proposal out there based on my PhD and maybe a few more conferences. But we will see.

Oh yes next year....a momentous year for many reasons. Firstly I am going to be fabulous 50 in February and I fully intend to embrace the idea of fabulousness! Secondly, my beautiful daughter is getting married in September to a fantastic man and that is going to be one hell of a celebration. I know I am lucky with my family and how much of them I see. Watching N grow into a toddler is one of my greatest joys. Seeing my boys develop into men that I am proud of as well. I wondered what other excitement 2013 will bring me.

In the meantime, this is how I am going to approach 2013, I hope you will join me, let's dance....don't stop me now!

Graduation 2012

Sometimes when working in HE it is too easy to become swamped by all the pressure. We live in an atmosphere of government enforced financial cuts and ever increasing expectations. We are meant to be research active but finding the time can be incredibly difficult. Consequently it is too easy to lose sight of what we are actually doing.

Yesterday was graduation day for the students I taught last academic year. Unfortunately I wasn't able to go into the ceremony as I was teaching but I raced down afterwards. With another colleague we stood at the entrance to Winchester Cathedral and waited. Soon a long winding line of excited students, all dressed in black, purple and cream flowed out of the double doors to the applause of lecturers. It is the most wonderful pageant.

They were as excited to see me and Mel as I was to see them on their special day.  I was amazed and delighted that despite their excitement every single one of them said, 'thank you for teaching me, I had the best time ever.' Yes, I must confess that was a thrill to hear but what I didn't expect and what totally blew my mind was the number of their parents who came up to me and shook my hand saying 'Thank you for taking care of them.  I have heard so much about you. You supported them so much. Thank you.'

I apologise if this sounds like I am blowing my own trumpet but it made me realise how the little things can matter. The taking time to listen when things aren't going great. To share in their joy when they are. They are all simple things that I don't think we even think about as lecturers, its what all of us do. But it can make a huge difference. Thinking about it afterwards I thought that I should know  and understand this of all people. I wouldn't be a lecturer with a PhD if it hadn't been the fact that I too had had lecturers, who have now become friends, that supported me and encouraged me throughout my degrees. They gave me the world and I hope that I have passed that on to my students.

Congratulations to the 2012 Creative Writing graduates, you were  a fabulous lot and I am proud of every single one of you. Thank you also for reminding me how great it is to be a lecturer.

It just had to be - an oldie but a goody - 'Winchester Cathedral

Copyright, plagiarism and all that stuff....

Tired-ness and Elated-ness

We have just come to the end of the first week of teaching in Semester 1 and I have to confess to being a little tired. However prepared you are it still takes you by surprise. One of the delights of this week for me has been that every group of students I have had have been enthusiastic and engaged. It has been an absolute thrill to teach them. Add to that that yesterday we found out that Creative Writing at the University of Winchester had been voted number one in England for overall satisfaction by the students in the National Student Survey. This is a big deal for us. And, I admit, we are elated.

As lecturers we are always told to keep an eye out for plagiarism, luckily in creative writing examples of it seem very rare. In fact, in the five years that I have been lecturing I have not come across any but I know others who have and we do come down hard on them. Do they really think we don't spot it? But I have been watching with interest an email conversation that has been going on in one of the elists. I am not going to be specific and you will see why. It has been about a book that was self published and reviewed by what appears to be a very reputable source. What apparently has come to light is that this book bears more than a slight likeness to another book published many years ago (but still within copyright).To the extent that some of the same phrases, plots and themes etc have been used and are definitely recognisable. Plagiarism and copyright infringement- who knows?

The person who wrote the self published book does not appear to be being malicious, it was more a case of naivety. They wanted to produce the book so that they could share the story with others and apparently also thought it was a fable not an actual book. This made me ask myself several questions - if we are contemplating self publishing do we also need to do a quick Google check to make sure our perceived original idea is not a direct copy of a book we loved as a child? I have not self published anything so am not sure of the processes. Do the organisations that self publish assume you have checked all copyright issues? Where does the responsibility lie? The other thing that came out of this was it was suggested that reviewers should consider checking books to make sure they are not infringements. It seems to me that something quite  apparently innocent has taken on all new proportions and to  a certain extent quite rightly so. It took me back to some discussions held on facebook recently about images that are used on blogs if you don't own them, what actually gives you the right to use them if you have not sought permission?There was in fact a legal case about it. Someone also quite rightly pointed out would we be so dismissive if it was our writing that someone had taken and used without permission.

I have no answers to any of this, am just really thinking out loud.

And just because I am in a Paul Buchanan type of mood....

Starting Over.....

Starting over....

Last week was full of new beginnings. On Friday I spent a glorious morning with our new students for a couple of induction sessions at the University of Winchester. It was wonderful, the room was absolutely buzzing. Their faces were so full of hope and happiness. There was a good dose of laughter too, which is always important. I can't wait to work with them.

This week I actually wrote the first chapter of my new story. I have been mulling it over for a while but I decided to get the first chapter down and see what happens. Luckily the words flowed and seemed (at the moment) to be in the right order. It doesn't mean they will stay like that but it is a start.

This is the first story I have written for a long time that is not tied into some form of academic achievement. Quite a strange feeling. I have been very lucky, however, to be invited to join a particular YA Critique group. I am delighted to be part of it because the writers who are already members are very strong writers and am sure I am going to get a huge amount out of it. It is quite terrifying though. I posted my first chapter this morning and this in itself is unusual for me as I usually tinker for ages before I let people see it. But I decided I would be interested in seeing what their thoughts are on a very early version. It was a real GULP moment for me putting something so new and precious out there, particularly when you know deep down that it isn't perfect. I am looking forward to their comments though as I am certain they will help keep me on my toes when I am writing this new story - it has a tentative title 'Persephone's Pegasus' - which may well change but I always have to name my stories so that I 'own' them. They become mine and it is something I encourage my students to do, even for their assignments.

I have spent the last two and bit years working on Trafficking (that which was Ham and Jam) so it is quite strange to start over again with a totally new story,new voice and new characters. I am busy getting to know them, getting to understand their idiosyncrasies and knowing what they look like. All good fun. They will become my friends in the same way Saba and Amina became my friends before and who are hopefully going to embark on their own journey soon.

I am also involved in a new project which I can't quite reveal yet but it certainly will be hatching in the very near future. I will share all the details with you very soon. I am very excited about it and what it will offer, plus I am working with some fantastic people on it.

You see I am definitely 'starting over....'

New Beginnings...

Happi-Ness

It is all about new beginnings at the moment. Yesterday I was doing an Open Day at the University of Winchester. Two weeks tomorrow is the start of a new academic year and, lastly, I have two brand new stories buzzing around in my head.

Open Days are always fun to do particularly if you are part of a double act. You have a room full of beaming potential students with their slightly less beaming parents. It is always a relief to see at the end of the talk to see that the parents smiles are just as wide as their children when they realise how useful a creative writing degree can be. Also I have to say it is hugely satisfying when at the end of the talk the parents and prospective students clap and cheer. We had lots of students come through our four sessions yesterday and it was a joy if a bit exhausting. Hopefully we will see many of them next September.

Talking of which, as I said, two weeks tomorrow will be the start of the new academic year. An exciting time but also a time of fear even for the lecturers. I am in the midst of lesson planning and ensuring that all my work is up to date so I can hit the ground running when the teaching starts....hmmm...that's the plan, will it be the reality remains to be seen!

The most exciting new beginning for me is the fact I have two new stories buzzing around. Trafficking is off with the editor and I decided it was time to start something new. But then it was like buses, two stories came along at the same time. Both pretty well formed but one requires a huge amount of research (including travelling abroad in order to do it) so I think that one is going to have to sit and wait on the back burner until I have the time and the money to do it justice. Luckily, I love the other story, it is another thriller for YA but quite different from Trafficking. The ideas for it are just dancing around my mind. I can see the plot and as always it is basic but I know I can build it up with some thrilling twists and turns. I am going to try and get a bit of it written before the start of term because once it starts the writing will have to take a back step, which to be honest is quite frustrating, but I might take a leaf out of Marcus Sedgwick's book (excuse the pun) who used to write every other Saturday when he was working for publishers and writing his books at the same time. I will set a day aside a week dedicated to writing. I know some people would sit back and wait for the feedback on Trafficking but I want to move forward. I never feel complete unless I am writing and I have a story flowing through my head that needs to be put on the page. Definitely a case of Happi-Ness!!

This is irrelevant to this post but I think it is beautiful, I have no idea how it is done but I thought you would enjoy it too.

The importance of SCBWIs

First SCBWI Social

On Thursday I held the inaugaural Winchester SCBWI Social meeting and it was a refreshing reminder of how important this organisation is to me. We met at a local pub and had a large jug of Pimms to celebrate - it was delicious! The best part was to be able to sit and discuss your own writing and that of others with people who understood the issues of writing/illustrating for children and the stress of the publishing machine. There was never an awkward silence as you tried to think of something to say and two hours went very rapidly. I will be organising another one in August. If you are interested leave a message in the comments below.


I first came across SCBWI-BI (Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators) in 2006 when I attended their conference which is held at my university. I had just finished my MA in Writing for Children and just embarking on my PhD. There were some fascinating speakers but I also found it quite daunting and overwhelming at that time. I sat on the periphery for several years, watching from the sidelines. Once my PhD was nearly finished I started to get more involved. They have their own Facebook page, which is a wonderful thing for networking and making friends. The members are all so friendly and supportive. And the more involved I get the more I realise how important the organisation is. I suppose it comes from all being in the same boat and understanding the pressures.


The aim of SCBWI-BI (some call it Scoobies) is to support published and, importantly, unpublished writers and illustrators. They hold many events during the year including the professional series held in London, the north and the north east. These can be events where you meet publishers, talk to other authors or have a specialised session like one on marketing. Who knows, maybe I will be able to get Winchester to start its own professional series on day..... ;-) There is even an Agents party, where you can schmooze and use your one line pitch.


Also, there is their annual conference which, as I previously mentioned, is held at Winchester University and always well worth attending. I went again last year and it was so much larger than the conference I attended in 2006. This year I am holding the first conference Scrawl Crawl on the Friday. This is where we will be visiting various places within Winchester to find inspiration and write and/or draw.  I will put up a link to the conference when it is ready.  They also hold an annual retreat. This is something I haven't managed to attend yet but from the feedback and photos it looks amazing and well worth attending.


I suppose what this post is really about is finding support networks when you write. The members of SCBWI have been fantastic. They celebrate everyone's successes and give a great deal of support to those who are having a difficult time. They become like a family. I am lucky many of them have become very good friends too that go way beyond the writing. But that's what you need as a writer is to surround yourself with people who understand what it is like to write/illustrate. How lonely it can be and how pressurised it can become once you have been published. People who understand and won't take offence if you need to be left alone because you are in the middle of a writing session. As the BBC would say, 'there are other similar organisations' - one that comes to mind is Lapidus, another one that is well worth looking at particularly if you are interested in creative writing and well being.


Finally, I would like to thank all my SCBWIs friends who have been such great friends and have helped me get to where I am. And thank you to those who attended Thursday's event. I look forward to many more.


Mary Chapin Carpenter's 'Chasing What's Already Gone.'

Write4Children e-journal

e-journal latest edition

Today the latest edition of Write4Children went live. You see I am not just a lecturer and a writer, I also edit, with Andrew Melrose, an ejournal. Write4Children is an open access journal that is online. What that means is anyone can have a look at it. You don't have to pay a huge subscription in order to read the fascinating articles inside it.

We set it up back in 2008 because whilst doing my own research I spotted a gap in the market. There are some excellent journals that deal with children's literature and some equally good journals on creative writing. But there were none that really, and deliberately, combined the two. Children's literature is a broad and fascinating subject and as a writer of children's books I am a great believer that I need to have an understanding of it. This understanding can inform my writing. But also I consider it just as important, if you happen to study children's literature, for you to have an awareness of the issues involved when writing for children. And there are many things we have to consider when we put pen to paper. On this basis it seemed the logical conclusion to pull the two together into a single journal.

The journal has been supported by the University of Winchester Press and being online gives us a lot of flexibility. We can including pictures (with appropriate permissions),photographs and even YouTube clips, if you so desired. All our articles are peer reviewed, this is important for an academic journal. But I do believe that many of you will find something of interest in the articles therein. They are not all purely academic. We have had articles written by Meg Rosoff, Lucy Christopher, Lucy Cuthew (an editor) and most recently Madeleine Milburn, who is an agent. They have all spoken about various things from their creative processes to what it is like to be an editor. This time there are articles by BJ Epstein, Tony Eaton, Jessica Seymour and Felicity Pulman, as well as Madeleine's

It can be at times a huge amount of work but I have a great deal of support from our editorial assistant, Jen Morgan, who is fantastic at going through everything and chasing people up and generally being there. The satisfaction when it finally goes up is enormous. And we are going from strength to strength which includes having an international following now....But rather than me telling you all about it go and have a look at Write4Children

And here is a clip of Where The Wild Things Are being read as a tribute to the outstanding children's author, Maurice Sendak, who sadly died this week. Thank you for all the inspiration.

Why do a Creative Writing degree?

I have been considering writing this post for a while but now seems timely following Danuta Kean's interesting blog post on How to choose a Creative Writing Degree and Keren David's post on the course she taught at City University. First, I think I should be upfront and honest, I teach on a Creative Writing degree at the University of Winchester, both at undergraduate and post graduate level. This is very much my opinion and how I see it but it is based on my experiences at Winchester both as a lecturer and a student. I am coming from both sides because I also have an MA in Writing for Children and my PhD is a creative writing one, both from Winchester. (I would have a BA in creative writing but it wasn't on offer then, instead I have an English degree with a creative writing thread)

 In my opinion, a Creative Writing degree is not there to teach you how to write. This may seem a strange thing to say, but you have to have the passion there first. The degree hones your skills. Most importantly, what a degree can do is to give you a chance to try on lots of different voices and find the one that fits you best. When I first did creative writing at University, I had a very set idea as to what sort of writer I was, by the end of my undergraduate degree I found that I couldn't have been more wrong. The voice I thought I had didn't exist instead I found I was a writer for young adults. It is easy to say that you could do these things away from university but actually it is not that feasible. It takes dedication and effort and constructive feedback to help work out what is right for you. All of which a degree can provide. At Winchester, for example, you can have a go at various types of scriptwriting, writing song lyrics, short story writing, poetry, writing for children and non fiction writing to name but a few. As lecturers we are all practitioners. We understand what it means to write - both the good bits and the bad.

To reiterate one of Danuta's points, please be wary of any course that says by the end you will have a publishing contract and an agent. That's not what it should be about and no one can promise that. We can, and will, introduce you to agents and publishers but at the end of the day your work has to be good enough and different enough for them to want it. At Winchester, we are aware that very few writers can support themselves on writing alone, therefore, a few years ago, the department made a conscious decision to create modules that are outward facing. Consequently, we not only show you how to submit your MSS, pitch your script, and create your own online presence, we also encourage you to engage with the 'real world' and future employment. For example, two modules we offer look at writing for display in exhibitions/museums or you can explore teaching creative writing. Several students have gone on to work in these sort of areas as a specific result of these outward facing modules. Make sure any degree you are looking at considers all aspects of your future.

In a previous post I spoke about employability and despite many people's preconceptions a creative writing degree prepares you for so much. You are equipped with so many transferable skills but not all of them are obvious immediately. I do a lot of Open Days and I have rooms full of very excited prospective students and some fairly glum looking parents who quite obviously do not believe doing a Creative Writing degree is the intelligent choice. As I do my whole presentation on employability and what our students have gone on to do  after their degree it is wonderful to watch these parents as a smile appears and their whole bodies relax because they have realised doing a Creative Writing degree is actually a very good choice. (Check us out at http://www.writingatwinchester.com/)

So in answer to my question 'why do a creative writing degree?' the answer is simple it prepares you for your future life, it gives you a chance to polish your passion. My suggestion for all writers who are considering doing a degree, whether at undergraduate or post graduate level, is to follow your heart.

 For all doing exams or contemplating the future here is Jack Johnson's Sitting, Waiting, Wishing....stop wishing and go for it ;-)

Finding a voice and falling in love.

I read with interest a blog post by Philippa Francis where she makes some very interesting points on how useful 'copying' can be. As I said in a comment I left there at the University of Winchester we have a module entitled Textual Intervention, where we get our students to take existing stories (Gothic and fairy tales) and make them their own. A wonderful array of stories and poems often appear at assessment time. I think this is another process involved in 'finding your voice' as a writer. I have been reading Al Alvarez's little book entitled The Writer's Voice and he says '....you [writers] do what all young people do: you try on other people's personalities for size and fall in love.' My understanding is that as an early writer you try on the voices of writers you fall in love with to see if they fit. They inevitably won't but they will help you further form your own voice. They help you find out who you are and, just as importantly, who you are not as a writer.

I also love this idea that as writers we fall in love. I think this is very true. I would suggest that we not only fall in love with other writers but with people. We collect people and add them to our extended families as they also inform our writing. They are inevitably people who have something to say. On this basis, I must be a writer because I fall in love with people so easily and they very soon become part of my extended family. All have a story to tell as to how they are now 'family'. And when I fall in love I give them the whole of my heart. I was lucky last weekend to celebrate my grandson's naming ceremony and it was full of 'fake' family that I had fallen in love with as well as 'normal' family. I should probably point out that the idea of fake is obviously not a slur it is just as way of highlighting the lack of blood relation.


In these days of instant access some of these friendships are technologically based. Some people I know scorn this and suggest that these cannot be real. I disagree. We may not have met face to face (or only on rare occasions) but our long conversations (via Skype or Google+ or Facebook or email) mean, to me, that our friendship is just as valid. We are writers and we support each other. It doesn't matter where you are in the world often the problems you face are the same.


Yesterday, for example, I spent a glorious afternoon with a member of my 'fake' family. We both fell in love with the artist above, Carol Sproston, whose work is currently available at The Wykeham Gallery. We talked a lot and laughed even more, but that is what being part of a 'fake' family is all about.


Treasure your 'fake' family and remember that falling in love is all about being a writer. Therefore something suitably corny to finish with and also something, for me, that brings back many happy memories connected with my children.









PS I promised I would let you know when my article on creative judgement and writing young adult fiction was available, well here it is: http://axonjournal.com.au/issue-2
Enjoy!

Critiquing and Employability

Contemplating the future?

In the post before last I wrote about critiquing and the importance of it. Candy Gourlay quite rightly pointed out the importance of finding the right critiquing group that you can trust. As we also mentioned SCBWIs is great at facilitating the setting up of such groups. But there are some situations where you are not given the choice who critiques your work. Some of you may be aware that I am a lecturer in creative writing at the University of Winchester and therefore on a daily basis I am giving feedback to students on work they may well have just written, if it was a task set in class. They also have to listen to their peers pass comment on their work as well as pass comment on others' work. This is not necessarily written it is often oral feedback given in front of the whole class and they are expected to take it on board and act upon it. It always makes me think of these lines from W B Yeats' poem 'He wishes for the cloths of Heaven'

I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. 

Students are spreading their dreams under our feet from the moment they walk in through the doors of the university. They (nearly) all have dreams of being writers of some sort and it is up to us to provide them with the opportunities to hone their craft, providing them with the tools to write in the best possible way they can.When giving feedback our aim is also to 'feed-forward' by giving them a critique that they can apply to future works. I have to say I enjoy watching the development of our undergrads. They tentatively give vague feedback in those first few weeks of the first year and then by the third year they have become confident and are capable of giving robust, constructive and detailed feedback.

This is an important skill to learn in today's world. This was highlighted when I contacted several of my previous clients (I was a businesswoman before I entered the academic world) to discuss the employability of graduates. I asked them about the graduates they employed (in the main not CW graduates). Most of them came back saying graduates won't listen to criticism and they certainly won't act on it. Well our students have to do both on a daily basis. It seems to me  a perfect transferable skill we are providing them with. The ability to critique effectively seems to enter so many elements of our world. We do like to prepare our students for the 'real world' and not just for a 'writerly' one!

I do have a confession though, am feeling slightly melancholy. It is my birthday next week, not a big one, but the one before a big one. Age doesn't normally worry me but I have been thinking a lot about what I haven't done with my life recently. This week has been a great week as I have been surrounded by some wonderful and very close friends. All 3 of whom are very important to me and a lot of talking and laughing went on but I became so conscious of how 2 dimensional my life has been. If I am truly honest I haven't lived. The question is, is it too late? I look in the mirror and what stares back is a face that has been beaten into submission by age and ravaged by long term illness. It is not who I think I am or who I want to be. One of these close friends mentioned they were at a cross-roads, I think I am too. Let's hope we both take the right route next and the journey is a good one so that next time I hit the year before a big one I am not regretting what I haven't done.

I wanted to play you a song I heard yesterday by Clint Black called 'Breathing Air' unfortunately I can't find a clip for it so instead you can have this, which is just as applicable:

The past and J K Rowling

Yesterday was supposed to be the last post of 2011 but then I thought I would share this with you. In the meantime and at the risk of repeating myself I hope 2012 brings you a lot of happiness and possibly the odd publishing contract!

Just before Christmas I had a skip delivered. Madness you may think but we needed a clear out. There were boxes in my son's room which had never been opened from the day we moved in 5 years ago. But what happens when you have a clear out is that you find things that weren't lost but are full of memories.

There were a mass of documents and brochures relating to my business which was part of my 'past' life. Was I really that woman that ran a PR and management consultancy company? What happened to her? Luckily she faded away. I didn't like her.

There were cards wishing me good luck with my course. I started a degree in English at Winchester uni  in 2002 having lost the business through ill health. There was also a diary which I had planned to write throughout my course which I had forgotten all about. I didn't complete it but I did manage to write odd snippets for the first semester. I found a comment I had written after just two weeks which said 'I love this. I wonder if I can do the MA and then a PhD?' The answer is yes you can and did! The final entry was a random comment relating to bumping into a lecturer who I  knew of but didn't know as he hadn't taught me. He had had to step into mark the creative writing assessments at the last minute. He remembered what I had written and informed me that I could write! I was astounded as this lecturer knew nothing about me. He might not have said that if he had known then how often he would have to work with me in the future... would you AM? LOL

I also found a book plate which is signed by J K Rowling - a proper signature not a laser print one. I had forgotten that we had been given this. It was just lying in a drawer. I have now stuck it into one of her books. When I mentioned on fb that I had found it the immediate suggestion was to sell it. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I write for children and I would be rich if I had a pound for every time a person said of my writing: 'Are you going to be the next J K Rowling?' The answer is of course I am not going to be and I wouldn't want to be. The Harry Potter books are unique. Two of my children loved reading them. I would have to order 3 copies of the book when they came out so we could all read it at the same time then we could talk about it and no one could spoil it for the others. My youngest loved the films (he hates books!) and has bought me the complete set of DVDs for Christmas. On which note I confess I love Harry Potter too. I know as a CW lecturer the writing could be tightened at times and I am aware that a lot of people knock them but as far as I am concerned they are great stories to escape into. J K Rowling does the best description of meals ever! So maybe I will keep that signature just for the sheer pleasure of it and as a reminder of all those magical moments when,  as a family, we would discuss Harry Potter. Thank you JK.

This song is called The Universal Child and that is who, as writers, we write for, never forget who they are. I love this song, see if you can spot the Icarus reference. It is here especially for my children who have grown and flown. And for my grandchild and step grandchildren who are just beginning to grow. Just in case you didn't know I am so proud of you all.