#amwriting - nurturing your creativity

The joy of writing

Last weekend I spent the weekend at Rhosygilwen. The most wonderful manor house in deepest, darkest Wales surrounded by fabulous writers as I was part of a Golden Egg Academy Retreat. Imogen and I were there on hand to listen to any concerns when required plus I had written some writing exercises, which I left strategically around the place. All designed to stimulate if you were feeling blocked. We also got to hear from Janet and Penny from Firefly Press, whose talk was truly inspirational reminding us of the importance of the reader.

Being there reminded why I love writing. The creativity just flowed from these incredibly people. On Sunday morning they shared their work. The stories being told were truly wonderful and so eclectic. All this inspiration and creativity even managed to inspire me and I got some of my own words down. Something I hadn't managed to do for quite a while as I had been snowed under with work. Instead I had been doing a lot of thinking and mulling over my new story. It hadn't felt ready to start yet. But then suddenly on Sunday the first paragraph flowed out of my fingers.

Writing is such a strange activity sometimes. Only a few weeks beforehand a character had walked into my head and refused to be ignored. I thought they wanted to be part of short story, but no they weren't satisfied with that and they made sure I knew it. They wanted to be part of my WIP. They were a teenager and they had a suitcase that they would not put down. It went everywhere with them. You could not take it away from them. They became quite agitated if I tried to ignore them too and the only time they became quiet was when I realised where they fitted. They were actually staying at the foster home my main characters end up at in my WIP. They were going to be integral to my story. Who knew? Where had they come from? Unfortunately the WIP is going to have to be written in snatched moments as I have another book that has a more pressing deadline. But it is there bubbling away as I am sure you all can understand.

Being on the retreat reminded me of the importance of being in contact with other writers. They understand what you are going through. You don't need to explain anything to them. This contact is another part of feeding your creativity. I always talk about the importance of nurturing this essence by doing things such as reading, not just children's books, but reading adults novels, taking yourself outside of your comfort zone, reading poetry, going to the theatre, art galleries and watching films plus the TV as well for good drama and comedy. It all informs your writing. I always carry with me a copy of Jen Webb's tiny book of prose poetry Gaps. It is perfect to read to unblock your mind when it is full of other people's words or if I just need to escape for a moment. As well as surrounding yourself with a supportive community is as vital part of this.

I hope during the holidays you all get a chance to write or spend sometime thinking about your stories.

Thank you to everyone on the retreat. It was amazing and there were many beautiful sunrises...

Researching Creative Writing by Jen Webb

I was delighted to be asked to review a copy of Researching Creative Writing. (ISBN-13: 978-1907076374 - £66.02) I have been waiting for a book like this for years. I just wish it had been around when I was doing my PhD.

It is another fabulous booked published by Creative Writing Studies and written by the inimitable Professor Jen Webb, Distinguished Professor, Creative Practice, at the University of Canberra. 

When I was doing my own Creative Writing PhD a few years ago I was often faced with various battles as I had to 'fit' my practice driven PhD into the the university's more 'traditional' format/expectations. It wasn't always a comfortable fit and we tended to bumble along together. This book answers all those questions that I had then. It would have enabled me to have been less stressed. I also would have felt more secure in my arguments having had solid research behind me or more specifically research that backs up the reasoning behind doing a creative writing PhD.

This book is going to be become an important book. It is a joy to read, whether dipping in or reading the whole thing, because it is learned yet accessible without being patronising. A difficult balance to achieve by anyone. The text deals with some very complex ideas relating to practice driven research embedded within creativity and criticality. It is a fascinating read because Jen Webb has successfully made it personal by using anecdotes of  other's research experiences alongside the academic rigour. This adds to its accessibility and is certainly not to its detriment. It creates a feeling of empathy as you read. 

After an initial question about what is research in a creative and critical context, the book is split into three parts: Part 1 Designing the Research, which which is about fine turning and understanding your project; Part 2 Doing the Research including writing as research, and finally, Part 3 From Materials to the Published Works, this explores ways of handing the results of your research and how to get your work out there in various ways - not always the obvious.  

Whether a PhD student or a supervisor or in fact just interested in creative writing research I recommend you get this book. It will soon become an important stalwart of your library and one that you delve into often. 

And just because 

Balance #2

I know I wrote about the idea of balance a few weeks ago but this week I came across a wonderful quote by my mate Foucault, which said: 'I don't feel that it is necessary to know exactly what I am. The main interest in life and work is to become someone else that you were not in the beginning.' I love this idea, particularly as I am a woman has undergone many changes in my life regarding 'who I am'. I have been a business woman, a wife (which didn't last long), I am still a mother and now a grandmother. I have become an academic but I have always been a writer. Ever since I can remember I wrote stories. Places to escape into probably. Even that has changed, as I spoke about in my post on doing creative writing degrees, I am not the writer I thought I was. I have become a writer of young adult fiction who dabbles in short stories and a bit of poetry.

The fact that I have been a writer for most of my life should tell me something about myself. But it is something I have only just worked out (I can be a bit slow) - I need to write.  This idea was further reinforced when I saw another quote this morning which says 'writing is about being alive.' (Roselle Angwin, Writing the Bright Moment, p.15) You will know from my recent posts that I have some more major rewrites to do but I haven't been able to get to them, work has got in the way. There have been several meetings and conferences. I have pulled together the latest edition of Write4Children  and rewritten an academic book proposal, but none of this has left me time to write what I need to write. My own stuff. During this time I have been having various conversations with Jen Webb and Nicky Schmidt (check out Nicky's blog http://absolutevanilla.blogspot.co.uk/) about feeling disaffected and almost feeling 'poisoned'. And though it feels a physical thing it is not, I need to answer that itch to write and to stop feeling guilty about it. Just go on do it, Ness!

But I don't think this just happens to me. I think if you have a creative bone in your body you have to ensure you  do whatever it is that makes you creative otherwise you lose balance in your life. I can see it in colleagues and good friends. I know so many in academia who are currently struggling with ill health. Often they will have to do a huge amount of academic writing rather than their own. I have watched colleagues and friends become increasingly stressed as they produce the necessary academic 'outputs' which must then be disseminated on a world-wide front and, therefore, suitably REF-able. Those in academia will understand exactly what I mean here. REF means Research Excellence Framework which is the new system for assessing the quality of research in UK universities. The pressure is huge. It is worth noting that often creative outputs do not count! When they are given the chance to take a step back and start doing their own work again there is a noticeable difference, their stress levels reduce and their spirits lift. They start to smile again.

Maybe there is a lesson in this for us all and I know it is one that both Jen and Nicky agree with - it is important to find balance. To create those moments to do your own work. To stop and breathe and remember why you do what you do - for me it is what makes me who I am these days, I write because it makes me feel alive.

Seems appropriate to play one of my favourties: Goyte's 'Somebody That I used to know'

Ethical writing and that splinter of ice in your heart

This week I was sent a link by my good friend, Jen Webb, to an article/conference paper that she had done last year at the AAWP conference. It is entitled 'Ethics, writing, and splinters in the heart' and is one of the most powerful and poignant articles I have read for a long time. Her thoughts just resonated through parts of my life. Click on here http://aawp.org.au/ethical-imaginations-writing-worlds-papers-refereed-proceedings-16th-conference-australasian-associa and scroll down to Jen's name. I can assure you it is well worth the effort.

In a way it is a very personal paper as she talks about how she dealt with her son being in a coma following an unprovoked attack. She talks candidly about how one of her coping mechanisms was for part of her brain, which she calls the 'recording device', to start taking notes of what was going on around her, '...observing the particular sounds and smells and colour...' And this was the part that resonated with me. I have had these moments where my 'recording device' has started, moments of desperation, grief, pain, fear, anger. It can be in the midst of fights, watching death visit, or watching those you love in so much pain (physical and mental) and you can't save them from it. You notice the small, seemingly insignificant details: a white feather, a globule of spittle, the fear in someone's eyes. All of which at a later date can bring to life a piece of writing. Because that's what we do when we are writers.

Jen repeats Graham Greene's maxim: 'There is a splinter of ice in the heart of a writer' (from his autobiography A Sort of Life, 1971). He says, as writers we watch and listen even if we are in the midst of it. There will always be a part of us that has stepped aside and is watching events unfold. As Jen says of her observations in hospital, 'This was something one day which I might need.' I can honestly say that there are two incidents that come to mind immediately where I can remember actually thinking, you must remember what this feels like. A version of one incident ended up in Disjointed. The other hasn't found its place - yet. Jen, quite rightly, points out that, as writers, we do it like a reflex and that she could not have 'not-done it'. It is something writers do, we eavesdrop, we watch and we take notes. 'The world is our data source, our archive...'

Judgement will always need to be made as to whether something should or should not be included. The incident that made it into Disjointed, for example, couldn't of got there without me discussing it with the relevant person. People were unlikely to recognise it, as it was a very personal moment, but there was always the risk. I needed to know they were happy with me including it. There are, as can be seen by this and Jen's article, ethics involved. Decisions to be made. I particularly like Jen's idea, which picks up on Diamonds thoughts, when she says, 'This is the work of a writer, and a writer writing ethically: seeing nonsense; imaginatively entering into it; making it have meaning.' Because, for me, this is what I do with all these notes and small details that are written on that splinter of ice in my heart - I give them meaning and use them to make stories for others.

How about you? Have you had the 'recording device' announce itself at inopportune moments?

There are so many people I would like to say this to at the moment

Happy New Year - 2012

What did you do in 2011?

Wow! What a year that was. There is only a day or so left of 2011 and as you can see by the photo it has been a pretty amazing year for me. I did exactly what I set out to do and  I achieved my PhD. Also little Noah made a fairly dramatic appearance in July and is the light of my life. Making our family even more perfect - thank you Charlie and Greg. A doctor in June and Nanny Noo Noo (don't ask!!) in July. I graduated in November surrounded by family and friends, which was a day I will never forget. It was incredible (see my post in November for full details)

As well as some truly wonderful and awe inspiring highs there have been a few lows in 2011 including surgery but I have been supported throughout by some fantastic friends and, of course, my amazing family.

There was only one conference where I gave a paper this year and that was Great Writing in June 2011 and run by Graeme Harper, who happened to be my external examiner at my viva. Therefore the fact it was straight after my viva was an experience. The paper went particularly well. I felt like I had a whole new confidence in my work. It was a great conference and I was able to spend a lot of time either side of it with my great friend Jen Webb. Who had already surprised me by being there when I turned up for my viva. We went to museums, art galleries and the theatre. We drank champagne and talked and talked. It was a perfect few days. Jen is coming back over to the UK for a few months at the beginning of 2012. That is certainly something to look forward to.

I had the privilege to watch the development, writing and then publication of two outstanding academic books which were both produced by Andrew Melrose, my former Director of Studies and a great friend who shared many of my celebrations and stuck the pieces back together during my lows. Thank you Andy.

I went to the SCBWI's conference in November for the first time for several years. It was a fascinating and illuminating conference where I managed to catch up with many fb and Google+ friends.

I have just read my blog from this time last year and I was so focused. I knew exactly what I was going to do. A great feeling for someone who has been accused in the past of being a bit of a control freak! 2012 doesn't feel quite so focused. I was advised to take 6 months away from the critical stuff once my PhD was finished to let the brain stop being quite so mushy. Well come January that 6 months is up. I have 2012 stretching out in front of me and it looks quite empty. I have several potential projects but nothing concrete. A bit freaky for someone who likes to know exactly what is happening. All the potentials focus on my creative work rather than my critical but am sure I will find ways to address this. I have just got to stop standing on the precipice and take that step off to see what happens.

To all my wonderful friends, and you know who you are I am sure, and my glorious family, thank you for a truly amazing 2011 and I wish you all a very happy and successful 2012. See you here this time next year.

The narrative of moments in time

I have just attended a fascinating and thought provoking seminar by Prof Jen Webb, a visiting academic from Canberra University. Her seminar started with her personal narrative of 9/11, where she was when she heard etc. This started me thinking about how we all have very personal narratives to momentous moments. We all can say we remember exactly where we were we first heard the news and the images started being broadcast into our lives, like the one at the side here. However, even if we were in the same place as other people that narrative is going to be yours alone as it will be defined by your experiences, thoughts and cultural moments.

For me 9/11 is in extricably linked with serious illness. I hadn't eaten anything or drunk properly since the December of the previous year when I had had surgery that went wrong. I was lying on my bed starving to death watching people jumping to their deaths. I felt connected to them. I had met my own terrorist in the surgeon who had operated on me. He had no grievance against me personally or even my country, unlike the 9/11 bombers, but I was one of Blair's initiatives - do them quick in private hospitals and churn them out then we can keep to our waiting list target.My surgeon was a bureaucratic terrorist primed to meet and beat targets.

But that is irrelevant now as I survived at the intervention of another surgeon, maybe a peace-keeping one who gave me a tube into my stomach that keeps me alive. I was lucky those in the Twin Towers on that fateful day weren't. I have a whole new life and the person I was then watching the Towers fall almost doesn't exist anymore. I have a new narrative based on survival and the future, not on image and money as it once was.

As I said I was lying on my bed to weak to move watching the tv in embarrassed fascination. You felt you should look away but you couldn't, there was a morbid fascination. It was almost too huge to comprehend and there was always this thought that it was a joke. It was just a disaster movie and someone's cruel script being played out in front of you. Unfortunately it wasn't,those people jumping weren't stunt men, those buildings collapsing were not choreographed, instead this was the moment that the US knew, what the rest of us had known for a lot longer, what terrorism was.

As an aside I heard that the French railways had to apologise for a press release that went out saying that several hundred people had died in a bomb blast on one of their trains. It was fake and it had been a scenario they had been working on to test all their systems...just someone forgot to tell the PR man...oops...we laugh about it but the fact is it shows us that people are out there creating appropriate discourses 'just in case'.

I wonder how many 'just in cases' there are and how many will end up being used?

Now some gloriously naf music but I do believe what it says: (they won't allow me to embed it so you will have to click on it) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHzMLGH1Rfs&feature=related