For P...

A moment from the good times

This post is  especially for P. I hope you find your way back to us very soon. We love you and miss you so much. You gave me my first book of poetry and set me on my writing journey so it seems only right I should post this:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

And below is a family song. I hope you can remember it from numerous weddings and parties. We sang it at the end of my 50th party. Paul, Leo, Toby, Charlie and Greg all did us proud with their singing and dancing. We will sing it again with you very soon, I am sure. Love Nxxx

Goodbye 2012....Hello 2013

A touch of madness....

It is the last day of 2012 and I have had a look back at my post for this time last year to see what I said. I had had such a momentous year in 2011 I was then feeling quite lost and wondering what 2012 could bring me to top it. Well no, it didn't top it, (I don't think anything ever will) but it was still pretty damn good.

What I could never of anticipated at the beginning of the year was that I would have a 'proper' job (or two). In September I was lucky enough to get a .5 lecturer's position at Winchester after several years of being an HPL. It is an amazing feeling and one that still, even now, doesn't feel quite real. I am still waiting for someone to wake me up and say 'Ha! Only joking...' But in the meantime I keep working hard at it and love it so much even through all the stress. I then also got the position of Skills Development Manager for all post graduate students at the uni - that is going to be very exciting and challenging as a position.

A year ago I had no idea either that I would be involved in a project with the gorgeous  Imogen Cooper - The Golden Egg Academy. Such an exciting experience and another chance to work with some incredible people. I cannot wait for the launch in January. I think GE is going to grow and grow next year beyond any of our thoughts or expectations. Bring it on. On the creative side I am still (yes I know) working on Trafficking and have also started a new story as well. I wonder what 2013 will bring for them?

I also had no idea I would have a new knee - a very shiny one according to the brochure that the very excited surgeon showed me before he inserted the contraption in my leg. It is apparently the 'best in the world'. I am sure in the long run it will be amazing but I am still battling through times of intense pain. I can't wait to be without crutches though. I did manage to ride the static bike the other day so can't wait to get it moving even more. I should add at this point that I will be eternally grateful to my children and Jen W and Nicky S who helped me get through some really dark times in the last few weeks. I owe you all.

That brings me neatly on to friends. I am lucky I have some amazing ones who have brought so much joy, laughter, writing, art and music into my life. Some are many miles away and some are very close. Friends are an important part of life and I treasure every single one of you. Thank you for being part of my life. I hope all your dreams comes true in 2013 and for many of you I know that would be a publishing contract.

There have been some low moments too of course. However, if you don't have those how could you appreciate the good. But I am not going to dwell on those. I had a chapter in a book published and I gave a couple of papers - one at Great Writing 2012 and one on technology in creative writing at a conference held at Winchester in July. Of course to start the new year I have been invited to co-write, with AM, a chapter for another book as well. What else shall I do next year? Well the aim is to get another book proposal out there based on my PhD and maybe a few more conferences. But we will see.

Oh yes next year....a momentous year for many reasons. Firstly I am going to be fabulous 50 in February and I fully intend to embrace the idea of fabulousness! Secondly, my beautiful daughter is getting married in September to a fantastic man and that is going to be one hell of a celebration. I know I am lucky with my family and how much of them I see. Watching N grow into a toddler is one of my greatest joys. Seeing my boys develop into men that I am proud of as well. I wondered what other excitement 2013 will bring me.

In the meantime, this is how I am going to approach 2013, I hope you will join me, let's dance....don't stop me now!