I walked out of that chapel feeling at peace and knowing she was safe and happy. I later received two emails both full of wonderful words from people who were not family but were there and who I care about. The emails were full of joy and happiness from the experience they had shared with me and my family. One of which was from the Priest who stayed with my mother whilst she started her journey. Her email told me of the love and beauty that was radiating from a coffin covered in flowers and that there were angels everywhere. Whether you believe or not (my mother believed avidly in angels as do I) those simple words reinforced the lightness of my heart and will stay with me forever.
Because that's what words and music can do. They can stay with you and bring back those moments of happiness and ecstasy in a 'heady scented moment of happiness'. (the quote is from the poem I wrote [with the help of the other email writer] and read at the funeral and maybe one day I will put the whole thing up).
I said goodbye yesterday and today, the 1st of May, is the first day I can move forward. My life is words punctuated with music and I will continue to use them to bring some of the happiness and solace to others as so many have done for me.